When it comes to marriage, the Amish and Mennonite communities share many similarities in their beliefs and practices, including a commitment to simple living, pacifism, and separation from mainstream society. However, the question remains: can Amish marry Mennonites?
The Amish are forbidden from getting married to anyone who hasn’t been baptized into their community. That includes Mennonites, who are perceived as outsiders.
If you are interested to know about Amish marriage traditions and beliefs, this is an interesting read.
Can Amish Marry Mennonites?
Amish are not allowed to marry anyone outside their religious circle, even Mennonites. A Mennonite wishing to marry an Amish should convert and be baptized into the Amish church.
Other faiths may view Mennonites and Amish to be similar in faith. However, marriage between these two congregations is not allowed. Amish people consider marriage as their passage into adulthood.
Marriage is also viewed as a commitment or promise to remain Amish and follow the Amish faith.
Both Amish and Mennonites follow marriage rules based on their own religious beliefs. Amish people are required to marry a fellow Amish that is within their community.
They also believe that Amish weddings should happen after harvest, the Amish bride should not wear a white wedding dress, and be required to build the newlyweds a wedding house.
Mennonites follow four marriage rules. Mennonite marriages impose that there should be no sex, alcohol, dancing, and acts of vanity before marriage. Mennonite couples who admit to having premarital sex may not be allowed to marry in the church.
Mennonite weddings are discouraged from being luxurious. The wedding dress is expected to be modestly designed and floral decorations at a bare minimum or muted.
However, since Mennonites are accepting of technology and social media, you can expect Mennonite weddings gradually becoming elaborate.
Sparkling juice and fruit punches are welcome in Mennonite weddings, while alcoholic drinks have no place on the tables. Dancing is avoided in Mennonite weddings, and wedding music is limited to hymnal or classical pieces.
Do Amish and Mennonites Get Along?
Amish and Mennonite groups share a common cultural and religious heritage. The founder of the Amish church of Anabaptism, Jakob Amman, was brought up with Mennonite influence.
Some Mennonite church practices may be observed in the Amish church.
Amish and Mennonites have their differences, and socialization between these two groups is rare. So it is expected that marriage between these two is highly unlikely.
Amish people oppose Mennonites for being open to the outside world; hence, compromising their religious purity.
Amish are stricter compared to Mennonites, for they prefer harsher punishment for those excommunicated from their congregation. In terms of everyday living, Mennonites accept technology and use modern equipment to have a comfortable life, while Amish reject modernization and comfort.
Even in missionary work, Amish and Mennonites have different practices. Amish prefer to live in seclusion and not share their faith to the world. Mennonites on the other hand willingly share their faith to others and have spread to more than 50 countries worldwide.
So, do Amish and Mennonites get along? They may not entirely get along, but both groups are people loving and wish nothing ill towards others.
Can Amish Marry Non-Amish?
The Amish church strictly requires that both parties should be Amish (baptized in the Amish faith). If conservative Amish allow mixed marriages, this could destabilize their Amish community.
Amish are expected to maintain their communities and settlements. Hence, they are discouraged to meet outsiders. If they leave their communities, they are putting their faith in danger by exposing themselves to worldly temptations.
Amish women and men may marry non-Amish if the outsider learns their faith and decides to be baptized. The outsider will be accepted into the Amish community, and they will be allowed to get married.
Amish are conservative in that as much as possible they do not encourage outsiders to join their congregation.
Amish Dating Culture
An Amish is allowed to meet and interact with non-Amish people. It is possible for an Amish person to meet an outsider at work. However, meeting non-Amish is uncommon because their chance to meet outsiders is quite limited.
Because of this, Amish youth date fellow Amish. They often meet in Amish church, or when visiting other Amish communities and joining festivities.
You can easily distinguish a married Amish from an unmarried (single) Amish. A single Amish girl wears a black bonnet which they call kapps while the married ones wear white. Wearing a bonnet is part of the Amish dress code for women, which signify their marital status.
On the other hand, Amish men who are married are expected to grow their beards while single Amish men should cut and trim their beards.
An Amish man growing a beard is a core belief in the Amish faith that they must uphold. This core belief separates Amish from other Mennonite groups and Christian sects.
Amish teenagers have strict dating rules, with the exception of rumspringa. Rumspringa refers to the adolescent period beginning at age 16.
At this stage, the teenager can no longer be controlled by their parents on weekends and are free to go where they want to. Likewise, the Amish church has no control over them, for they are not yet baptized into the Amish congregation.
Rumspringa is like a taste of outside life for many Amish youths. The purpose of rumspringa is to show and expose them to life outside their church and isolated community.
It is also an opportunity for them to see the life they would have to give up when they are baptized into the church.
Another interesting dating practice by the Amish is bundling. Although Amish are generally conservative, they also have a modern approach to dating, which is shown through bundling.
Premarital sex is strictly forbidden during Amish courship stage. It is a practice where an Amish woman and man are to spend a night together in bed, fully clothed, and getting to know each other.
Bundling is not about sex. It is an ancient Amish dating custom requiring the practice of self-restraint.
Amish Wedding Beliefs and Traditions
Courtship and marriage are taken very seriously by the Amish people. The Amish faith considers marriage a sacred act, with the intention is to find a suitable life partner to build and grow a family.
Amish youth are baptized into the church by 18–22 years old. Once they are baptized and part of the church, they can soon marry a fellow Amish. Marriage between two Amish individuals is the reason behind large Amish families.
Amish youth may be allowed to meet and date outsiders. Sadly, marriage is not allowed between them unless the non-Amish person decides to be baptized and become Amish.
Marriage in Amish communities only happens during the wedding season, which is typically between the months of October and March.
This wedding season is a result of the Amish people’s desire to celebrate Amish weddings post harvest, since Amish life is centered around agriculture.
Marriage practices in an Amish community is also similar to most weddings. It starts off with a ceremony and followed by the communal feasting of Amish wedding foods.
Amish food recipes are handed down to the next generation as well. The recipes are carefully placed in a handwoven, wooden bread box. This box is an iconic piece in Amish kitchens.
The Amish live a simple life and this is also manifested in the wedding gown worn by Amish women and the wedding table decorations. The bride’s wedding gown has a modest design and is sown by hand.
Amish wedding gowns are not white. Amish women are sewn into a blue or purple dress which they continue to wear for church service, and they wear them again when they die.
The concept of a honeymoon is different for the Amish. On their wedding night, the newlyweds are to spend the night in the home of the bride’s parents. They are not allowed to go elsewhere on their wedding night.
The next day, the newly married couple are expected to wake up early and help with the post-wedding celebration cleanup. The Amish couple will have to stay in the community and help build their new home.
Carpentry skills are necessary that Amish men should learn from childhood. A skill which is passed down to their children. Hence, building a new home for the newly married couple will be quick and easy.
Polygamy is not practiced in the Amish faith. Divorce as well is not allowed. The Church Elders find ways to reconcile the couple to make their marriage work.
Can Mennonites Date Non-Mennonites?
Traditionally, Mennonites are prohibited from dating and marrying non-Mennonites and a member of another Mennonite community.
Though, at present, only conservative Mennonites forbid marriage between a Mennonite and a non-Mennonite.
Conclusion
Amish people are generally kind and friendly. You may interact with them when you buy their products.
However, if you are a non-Amish, and you are interested to date one, it is highly unlikely that the both of you can have a relationship.
Amish people are generally conservative and prefer marriages only within their community. Mennonites and Amish people have similarities and differences in their core beliefs that marriage between these two parties is highly unlikely.
